Thursday, June 14, 2007

 

Take this object, but beware...

ITEM: Calgary Flames to hire Mike Keenan as new head coach

A quick survey of Flames fans to this move reveals reactions from 1 to 10, that number of course referring to the number of 'O's in the NOOOO!!!!

I'll probably wait to hear what the org and the man himself have to say at the presser before I settle into an opinion, but a few things:

Put another way, Keenan was hired to coach this team and succeed, now. Will he? Recent history says no, but my opinion at first blush is that bringing him in is definitely a less worse option than sticking with Playfair. And, a lot of the options available to him in previous jobs that he is known to screw up (mainly poor and/or expensive player personnel decisions) are simply not available to him here; the job is to coach the team, and surely this is all crystal clear to him as he accepts it.

On the other hand, did you watch the last season of The Sopranos? Are you familiar with the fable of the scorpion and the frog?

P.S. Line of the day so far goes to Mike Richards In The Morning, on The FAN960: "I'm not sure why all these people in Edmonton are so happy about this. When I look at what the Oilers are up against this offseason and in the upcoming season, well, if I had a laugh-track machine it would be smoking."

Comments:

"I'm not sure why all these people in Edmonton are so happy about this. When I look at what the Oilers are up against this offseason and in the upcoming season, well, if I had a laugh-track machine it would be smoking."

Ooh, what a burn. He really nailed us. We'll see how his team is at the end of next season.

BWAAAHAAAHAAAAAAA. I can't wait til the draft, and the first signs of acrimony.
 


I'm not sure why all these people in Edmonton are so happy about this

Misery loves company. That is all.
 


Mike Richards is a fuckin' idiot.

Always has been, always will be.

The radio voice of the never-ending Calgary inferiority complex.

Don't believe said complex exists? Count the number of references to Edmonton or the Oilers in the Keenan thread on CalgaryPuck, and you'll have your proof right there.

As for this move...it's all or nothing. It's the Robbie Schremp of coaching hires. It will either be wildly successful or spectacularly disastrous.

My money is on spectacular disaster.
 


It's the Robbie Schremp of coaching hires.
Hopefully a pic of Keenan in a banana hammock won't turn up around these parts.
 


Don't believe said complex exists? Count the number of references to Edmonton or the Oilers in the Keenan thread on CalgaryPuck, and you'll have your proof right there.

Count the number of Oilers responders to this Calgary post.
 


There was a lot of speculation that Brent Sutter would be the next coach of the Flames. But from what I understand he's committed to staying in Red Deer until his kid is out of junior.

I wonder if Darryl Sutter figured he'd give Keenan a shot for a couple of years, knowing that when he eventually wears out his welcome he'll call on his brother.
 


Keenan's history tells us we can expect a big improvement in the short term and then it all ends in tears, with Bertuzzi and Chris Gratton on the roster and the goalie in therapy.

Sutter seems determined to make a serious run at the big prize this season, which makes sense. I just hope he has a long term strategy to go along with the short term one.

And Mike Richards is freaking brilliant.

Go Flames.
 


The radio voice of the never-ending Calgary inferiority complex.

Judging by the mayor of Calgary's constant whimpering since Ralph Klein left office, I'd have to agree. Waaahhhhhhh.

That Cameron sign-in was me, btw.
 


Denial : "This can't be happening."
Anger : "WTF Sutter?!"
Bargaining : "As long has he realizes he has no hope of being GM, maybe he can actually coach?"
Depression : "He hasn't been in the playoffs since 1996. [Editor's note: Seriously! 1996!]
Acceptance : "Playfair had to go. How could Keenan really be worse?"

This is baffling. Seriously. Just indefensible on every level. And I'm not even a Flames fan
 


There is not going to be wholesale changes to the top end of the roster in the offseason.

Apparently Huselius doesn't count as being on the "top end of the roster".
 


I'm missing this whole Huselius controversy. His productive time in Florida was when Keenan was the coach; it was after Keenan moved upstairs that Huselius struggled. Is the idea here that there'll be a problem (personality conflict?) because GM Keenan traded him?
 


I actually think that this is a good hire, if only because Keenan has done well with veteran teams that had talent and his real disasters involve him having the levers as GM as well. This Flames team has some talent and I assume that he'll squeeze whatever talent is in place to produce.

That said, I can't be the only one who's eagerly awaiting the first blowup with a player. My money is on Keenan/Phaneuf. There's an apocryphal (?) story about him calling in Pronger's parents and telling them that their son was an alcoholic. I eagerly await his encounter with Phaneuf's parents, who I assume are gun toting semi-literate hill people.
 


Well, let's start with sketching out the goalposts for 07/08 shall we? The Flames return with a veteran team, with very solid goaltending (usually), good defense, average forwards. I'd expect this team to return to the playoffs and make the conference final, barring injuries to key personnel (Kipper, Tanguay, etc).

The danger for Sutter, is that he may be hiring Keenan to get the most out of this years Flames, but what about further down the road? Keenan isn't going to want to stick it out as coach if the Flames have to rebuild after 08, he's going to want to manage.
 


This comment has been removed by the author.
 


"I eagerly await his encounter with Phaneuf's parents, who I assume are gun toting semi-literate hill people."

Ouch, Phaneuf's from Edmonton.
 


Well, let's start with sketching out the goalposts for 07/08 shall we? The Flames return with a veteran team, with very solid goaltending (usually), good defense, average forwards. I'd expect this team to return to the playoffs and make the conference final, barring injuries to key personnel (Kipper, Tanguay, etc).

The danger for Sutter, is that he may be hiring Keenan to get the most out of this years Flames, but what about further down the road? Keenan isn't going to want to stick it out as coach if the Flames have to rebuild after 08, he's going to want to manage.


It's clear this is a one year hire. They'll give Keenan a two-year contract at MAX, and simply let him walk at the end of it. Somehow I doubt that the powers-that-be in Flame-land would be dumb enough to put Keenan in charge of player personnel moves.

If they are, we'd be seeing Kiprusoff dealt for Andrew Raycroft, Hal Gill, and Darcy Tucker, and they'd throw in Giordano just to make the deal go. (NOTE: I had trouble thinking of something equally asanine to the Luongo deal, so that's my best stab at it).

Count the number of Oilers responders to this Calgary post.

Yeah, on a joint Oilers/Flames blog, it's shocking, isn't it?
 


I eagerly await his encounter with Phaneuf's parents, who I assume are gun toting semi-literate hill people.

You have to love this comment. Tyler tries to take a swipe at Calgary, and inadvertently shits all over Edmonton.

Bravo.
 


It seems obvious to me that Tyler was referring to Phaneuf's caveman-with-fetal-alcohol-syndrome ultrabrow rather than what city he hails from.

But hey, why don't you go with whatever interpretation you think lets you most act like an insufferable dick.

BRAVO.
 


What, Edmonton doesn't have gun toting semi-literate hill people living there? Sure, the concentration is lower there than anywhere else in the province, but people - we're talking about Alberta.
 


I eagerly await his encounter with Phaneuf's parents, who I assume are gun toting semi-literate French people.

Fixed.
 


Hilarious item of actual information from the HFboards (yes, really): the Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet called Huselius at home to ask him if he'd heard who his new coach was.

When we tell him who it is there’s a brief silence. "What do you say?"

"Well, that was a surprise," says Huselius.


To his credit Huselius quickly regroups and gives forth with a stock "We were different people then, water under the bridge, blah blah blah" answer.
 


this is a brilliant move by suttler. keenan, without any GM bs 2 deal with (where he admittedley is in way over his head), is a coach PAR EXCELLANCE. seriously--go look in the books and see what he can do to motivate a team. the miracle in manhattan anyone? keenan is about results, getting things done, giving slow-pokes a kick in the seat of their pants when they need it, and an effectionate pat on the back when its deserved.

great work by sutter. i cant wait until the draft and the ufa signings and trades--this season could potentially by off the charts for the new calgary flames

And meanwhile, in oilerville: lowe will probaply make a last-ditch effort to save his team by trading some key players like smith, staios, horcoff, or stoll in order to get one season with a top RFA or second-tier player. this season is going to be brutal for the coilers. while calgary will soar.
 


Thanks for dropping by and illustrating what I was talking about with respect to the semi-literate hill people, random Calgary fan!
 


face it: in the battle 4 alberta, calgary's already won
 


Holy shit, there was a battle for Alberta? And CALGARY WON???
 


face it: in the battle 4 alberta, calgary's already won

First off: punctuation and capitalization would be nice.

Second: are you the same douchebag that once posted as Rejean31 on Oilfans and was banned after multiple instances of trolling?

Last time I checked, the only score that STILL matters in the Battle of Alberta is 5-1. Unless you also want to take Grey Cups into consideration....in which case it's 18-6.

Bottom line: Calgary sucks, bitch. The Keenan hire is a move to attempt to take advantage of a passing opportunity to narrow said "gap" between Edmonton & Calgary in terms of ultimate success, but it is also a move with a high potential to blow up in the Flames' collective faces.

Now, goodnight and go fuck yourself.
 


I eagerly await his encounter with Phaneuf's parents, who I assume are gun toting semi-literate French people.

Fixed.


My grandfather's done some work in genaeology, and apparently, Phaneuf is about as French as Farnsworth -- that is, it's the name the Farnsworths took to hide from the English way back when.
 


hey sweatyo and all other spOILERS fans: check out teh front page of LOWETIDE and weep. yep the only actual thinking blogger in the "oiLOLogosphere" agrees that the keenan hire is a tremendous move by the flames and that the cOIL will get the "snot" beat out of them.

when will you guys wake up and smell the folgers in youre cup: the flames are only a tweak or two away from making it to the conference finals, and possibly more
 


Shit. Reggie Jr. has got our goat, you guys. Just look at all those cleverly derisive nicknames he's come up with for our team.

He's just too damn smart for me.
 


Shit. Reggie Jr. has got our goat, you guys. Just look at all those cleverly derisive nicknames he's come up with for our team.

He's just too damn smart for me.


Yeah, the lack of spelling, punctuation, grammar, and general intelligent commentary must be some form or literary art.

You know, like the book "The Sound and the Fury". It looks retarded beyond belief, but is secretly brilliant!

Yeah, that's GOT to be it.

On second thought...nah. Just another Flamer troll whose IQ is roughly equivalent to that of what my cat leaves in the litterbox every morning.

Guess not all Flame fans can bring the same level of intelligent trash talk as Matt, Peter, metrognome and others. Reggie here, he'd be the OTHER end of the spectrum....
 


It seems obvious to me that Tyler was referring to Phaneuf's caveman-with-fetal-alcohol-syndrome ultrabrow rather than what city he hails from.

The fact that he was trying to say one thing and inadvertently said something else is why it's funny.

But thanks for the lesson in reading comprehension. I knew you liberal arts majors were good for something.
 


Ooh, a liberal arts major jab. Yet another game, set and match for McLea. Christ, you're good at this internet thing.
 


Careful Chris! Keep pushing mclea and he'll have another comment section meltdown and vanish for another few weeks until the dosage gets corrected.
 


haha, the truth hurts donn'it? u laugh from youre ivory pedastal in coilerville edmonton while spewing utter incoherancy, not realizing that the flames are more dangerous than ever and hte oilers are going 2 be even worse off next season under the disasterous "leadership" of kevin blow.

hope you're liberal arts degrees can bail u out of that 1
 


haha u guyz thnk yur so smaert but u r infactr vary dum n tha Flames r waye batur than yur stupit cOILERS so wwut if i nevar graduatet hi scool and one time a plain floo n2 da speling centur of my brane ples take mee sereusly

GO KEENUN!!!
 


As a Canucks fan, I can only say how thrilled I am that Calgary has hired Mr. Keenan as their new coach.

Well, hockey is an entertainment business, right? The next year or so will certainly be entertaining.
 

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